I returned to cold after living, years

closer to the sun; and

I returned to green after living, years

closer to a song

So close I feared the choking dust on my feather wings

So close in fact I could barely stand in my own shape

So close that I felt

Like—

A novelty

I returned to sidewalks I remember, for years

Gummed and upheaving

I returned to chimes of resignation, fears

Close to my past

So close my breath is metal

And shallow

So close I see that black nose

Exhale

So close I reach for this warm pile

Of finite